Showing posts with label distance learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label distance learning. Show all posts

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Looking forward to the future

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This is a post that was first published on the AnxietyUK website as part of Mental Health Awareness Week. As they have now taken all the posts down, I thought it would be best to publish it on my blog, so it doesn't go to waste. I have edited it, added pretty images and explained a few bits in more detail, improving it basically!

Mental health problems are not a sign of weakness. They are sign of trying to remain strong for far too long

I'm 30. I started having panic attacks out of the blue when I was 16 and my life has been ruled by anxiety at varying levels ever since, almost half my lifetime. At its worst, I was having several panic attacks a day, incited by significant and insignificant events alike, most commonly films and TV, but always when in the house on my own. I contemplated suicide, briefly, once. I also developed an eating disorder.

Fear and anxiety

Anxiety didn't stop me finishing my A-levels, but it didn't help my grades and it did stop me going away to university. I vowed to never let it stop me from doing anything again. However, unconsciously it has. Anxiety has stopped me from finding a boyfriend, broken up friendships and delayed me in progressing at work. However it hasn't stopped me from moving out of home (at 25), holding down a job and finding my vocation in life, getting 2 university degrees, passing my driving test (5th time due to nerves), public speaking, teaching classes and doing adventurous things.

Fear doesn't control my life anymore

I had counselling at 17, but I decided to get over the anxiety myself, managed to and went to university in my hometown after a year out building my confidence. However the anxiety came out in different ways over the years: sporadic panic attacks at stressful times, eating problems, defensive behaviour in friendships, hermit-like tendencies, as well as the physical symptoms: heart palpitations, sweating, nausea, tremors, muscle tension, joint pain, lack of energy, depression and insomnia among many other things.

Anatomy of anxiety

Over the years I've tried traditional counselling, meditation, mindfulness, hypnotherapy, CBT, natural remedies and neurofeedback. I thought I had a handle on it after the latter, but after finishing my second degree in November 2013, distance learning while working full-time, I had a mini breakdown, ruining a well-earned holiday and freaking out my family. I stopped eating, sleeping and was having panic attacks all day every day. I was forced to take time off work to recover and decided, with my excellent doctor’s hands-off advice, to go back to traditional counselling.

Calvin and Hobbes sums it up

I had an epiphany-like breakthrough in the first session and have not looked back since. Being diagnosed, with vestibular neuritis (after a misdiagnosis of Menieres), or at least ruling out anything else it can be as it's undiagnosable, has helped too; it can be linked to anxiety. I feel becoming an auntie has done much to help as well, having someone to look after who takes you out of yourself and who loves you unconditionally.

Just breathe

I haven't felt this good in years, maybe before this all started at 16 years old. I’m happier, getting out more, writing again (my favourite thing in the entire world), enjoying life and everyone's saying how healthy I look. I am even considering finally finding a boyfriend, which is a huge thing for me. I wanted to share my story to show that you can go from the lowest of the low, feeling like there’s nowhere to go, to actually looking forward to the future.
Self control

Lastly, I want to share with you my favourite quote: Lao Tzu: “If you're depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you're at peace, you're living in the present.” I still have a long way to go, but I've finally found flashes of peace.

Monday, 17 March 2014

How to and how not to do your librarianship degree

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I have recently finished my MSc in librarianship, distance learning from Aberystwyth while working full-time. I tried to do it as quickly as possible, completing it in just more than two years. I did it the hard way, I always do things the hard way. I wouldn't recommend it as it damn near caused a nervous breakdown!

It occurred to me that I have a few other bits of advice to impart, some serious and some not so serious. For those of you contemplating doing a librarianship degree, distance learning whether from Aberystwyth or otherwise, this blog post may prove useful. For those of you currently doing your degree, I have broken it down into general MSc advice, as well as specific dissertation advice. And for those of you who have like me finished, you may chuckle in recognition. For everyone else, there's some pretty pictures of Aberystwyth.

My dissertation was on ebooks, looking at the attitudes of publishers, suppliers, faculty and librarians (the main influencers of the success of ebooks in academic libraries) rather than users; the University of Cambridge became a sort of case study. For those of you interested, here is my dissertation. It got a decent enough grade, but maybe reached too far and tried to encompass too much:
https://www.academia.edu/6393946/_Books_are_no_more_threatened_by_Kindle_than_stairs_by_elevators._The_impact_of_ebooks_on_printed_book_collections_in_University_of_Cambridge_libraries_Attitudes_of_librarians_faculty_and_suppliers

The statue on the hill

How not to do your MSc in librarianship

Here are my recommendations on what to do and what not to do while studying for your MSc/MA in librarianship. I did mine at Aberystwyth distance learning while working full-time. But I believe the lessons I learned are attributable to at least all distance learning courses, let alone beyond. These are hard-earned lessons through bitter experience.

DO NOT:

...spend time off. Work steadily and regularly.

...forget the people you met at study school. Regardless of how quickly they or you get through the course, they will be your benchmark, virtual friends and the people who understand what you are going through the most. If you don't meet these people at study school, or go to study school, find them in your local librarian community who have done/are doing the course. Cambridge is great for that. I won't list those that helped me, but they know who they are. I occasionally met up with another Cambridge librarian to talk about where we were at, rant about annoyances and generally catch up. Just knowing someone else is going through the same things as you is comforting and encouraging. It also helps with the distance side, not having lessons or lectures, no socialising with classmates and not having someone to talk to on a daily basis.

Me with the friends I made at the first study school
...on that note, avoid contacting the course leaders if you have any questions, no matter how small, via email or on the forums. Do use the forums and keep in touch virtually (social media is particularly useful. Facebook or Twitter via the #aberils hashtag) with classmates and other librarians, they are your most useful resource, not the electronic articles, textbooks and course packs.

...be scared of the blank page. It is a genuine phobia by the way: vacansopapurosophobia. Write something, anything. Once you start, you'll find it gets easier and better the more you write. You can always edit afterwards. There is no such thing as the perfect assignment, the perfect essay.


...stay at Pantycelyn, if you go to Aber. You will not get any sleep. The food is worse. The sleeping quarters are atrocious. The ablution facilities are bad bordering on dangerous. Trefloyne was the best place I stayed. But I also booked a lovely little hotel on the seafront for the last study school. However you'll need a car or try and catch the bus as the route to the library studies campus is up a steep hill.

...try to do it in 2 years unless you don't plan on having a life, enjoy hard work and have unshakeable determination.

...take on too much such as trying to solve long-standing mental problems, learning to drive and passing your test (5th time), while also trying to have a family life, going on holidays and holding down a full-time job.

...expect too much of yourself. You will run yourself ragged with the combined stress of family, work and study.

Castle hill
...make a mountain out of a molehill. Tackle the molehills, not the mountain.


DO:

...choose the right course for you. I don't know about Robert Gordon in Scotland, but with Northumbria you have to do it in 2 years and Aber you can do it in 2-5 years, which allows for much more flexibility. There are also part-time and full-time courses, of course.

...set yourself deadlines. Yes, there are marking deadlines, but they are almost impossible to stick to, particularly if you're a perfectionist like me. The only one that matters is the dissertation deadline, otherwise with all the hoops it has to jump through, you have to wait months for your mark to come back. You will set off with the best of intentions, especially after the study schools: to be the best you can be. But I can guarantee by the end of it, you will be saying "that will do."

Babe "That'll do, pig"
...heed the universe. If you keep coming up against barriers, frequently get writer's block or everything seems against you, the universe is trying to tell you something. Put it this way, if traffic lights keep changing to red just before you get to them, the universe is telling you to SLOW DOWN.

...expect to put on weight. I haven't ever weighed so much without medical intervention. This will happen specifically when you are writing the dissertation. It's from comfort eating, convenience foods and lack of sleep/stress.

...have a good work-life-studies balance. Get into a routine if possible. If you can't, do little and often. It's about regular work. Go with the flow. Whatever works.

Aberystwyth sunset
...remember life will always get in the way. Distance learning is tough as it encroaches on all areas of your life at all times, if you let it. It's not like a job which you can usually leave at your workplace; it comes home with you.

...realise procrastination is the enemy. Self-motivation is key and the hardest part about distance-learning especially. You will find any excuse not to work. There will always be one more chapter to read, one more episode to watch, one more chore to do. Do not give in.

The bluebell walk trip during the April study school
...take advantage of the opportunities offered at study school, such as the National Library visit and the bluebell wood walk in Aberystwyth.

...use Dropbox. It's invaluable. You can work wherever you are. All you need is an internet connection. You will always have an up-to-date version of your work. It will allow you to take advantage of any moment you have, any inspiration and any motivation. That said, make sure you keep a back-up as well.

Backup from Veronica Mars
 ...use Zotero. You can keep all your references and bibliography in one place. You can create folders to separate them according to each assignment or module. One click is all it takes in your internet browser (Firefox and Chrome at least) to save something. There is also a Word add-in so you can instantly add citations to your assignment and create a bibliography, using your chosen citation style. I always used APA. You will never lose a reference and you will never have to manually create a bibliography again.

...have good, supportive people around you, be they workmates, friends or family. They will act as cheerleaders, there to crack the whip and preferably to do the cooking, cleaning, washing etc. I didn't until my dissertation as me and my brother who I live with share all the chores, but you might be luckier. It means if you're on a roll, you can stay on a roll. Even in the depths of my dissertation I had to take time out to cook, clean and grocery shop as it was my turn.

...allow for downtime. Do something away from work, family and studies. I took refuge in books (paradoxically studying will reignite your love of reading, at least reading literature) and TV, as well as the aforementioned learning to drive and trying to solve my mental problems. For me it was particularly Glee, Once Upon a Time and How I Met Your Mother for the TV programmes, Anne of Green Gables, Jasper Fforde and Cornelia Funke for the books. Without downtime, you'll go mad. A special mention to Gilmore Girls who saved me after I finished.

The balloon I purloined from the 25th anniversary dinner
...have fun with it! Do things your own way. Do the modules that interest you as well as the ones that will further your career.

...lastly and simply, get enough sleep!

How not to do your dissertation

Here are my recommendations on what to do and what not to do while writing your dissertation for the librarianship MSc/MA.

DO NOT:

...do every kind of research under the sun: interviews, surveys, the literature review, statistical analysis. It takes a long time to create, arrange, do, analyse and write up everything.

Beautiful Aberystwyth
...try to finish it under a strict deadline. More so than any other of your assignments, you will find dissertation time frames are unreliable, intangible and ephemeral.

...take a week off to try and write the bulk of the dissertation, in a heat wave, in England, in the summer. As you know, that almost never happens. So your dedication to your work will flutter away into the sunshine.

...ignore a wrist problem. All that writing, typing and mouse work will have their toll on your poor old wrist. It will only get worse, so let it have a break. If you must continue, get appropriate wrist support.

From the funicular railway
...accidentally ignore your supervisor's advice, creating a hybrid structure of the social science and thematic model. They are there to advise you. They know what the markers are looking for, so you must do as they say, or argue your point with them and in your dissertation.

...get sick at the wrong time, just as you are on the final stint of your dissertation. Not only is it extremely inconvenient, it saps your strength, energy and motivation.

...falter at the last hurdle, thinking "yes! It's almost over". It ain't over until it's over.


...write down all the things you want to do afterwards, so you will have a list when you've finished. It only adds pressure and makes things harder, looking at all the much more fun and entertaining and useful things you could be doing. Your librarianship MA/MSc is useful and sometimes fun too.

DO:

...think about your dissertation right from the very beginning of your course. You can be gathering research as you go, thinking about the topic and how you will go about it. And yes, you do need to have at least a shortlist of topics before the dissertation study school and ideas about the research methods you could use.

...get as few people involved in your dissertation as possible, only who you need. It just adds unnecessary pressure.

...print off and proofread your dissertation in paper format. My dissertation went through 3 people before I printed it off. By reading it in print rather than on screen, I found a few typos, incidences of repetition and mistakes and then my proofreaders found far more. One of the markers still found a minor mistake, despite it having gone through 7 people other than me!

Camera obscura image of Aberystwyth
...ask someone who is not a librarian and knows nothing about your subject to do the proofreading. My parents were brilliant at finding grammar and punctuation errors, parts that needed more explaining and consistency mistakes.

...choose a topic you're interested in, know something about already and won't send you doolally after months of work. You want to be sane by the end!

...plan something for when you finish, don't just go on holiday. You will go from being really ridiculously active to nothing otherwise. There will be a crash, I guarantee it, so if you have a project to do, TV series to watch or anything really, it will mitigate the effects.

So that's my advice. Do with it what you will. If you want more advice, the excellent Library Wanderer has written more articulately on the same subject. N.B We both came up with the Babe reference separately. Good luck!