My Southeast Asian Odyssey: A Mini Travel Guide

This post is for all nervous travellers and those thinking about visiting Southeast Asia or have already been there, as well as my friends and family and people who have been following my recent holiday on Facebook! It's like a mini tour guide or guidebook and a review of the places we went, my impressions uncoloured by others' opinions or from official guidebooks; I just checked I was spelling place names correctly. Scroll down if you want to see the pretty pictures.

So, I've just come back from a holiday of a lifetime. I say that as I don't envisage doing anything like it again. I may fly long haul again, but I won't want to travel as much during a holiday. I took 8 separate flights and 2 separate boats in 3 weeks and that was just the transfers between places; I also took more boat trips when in the islands. The world is not small after all, I can quite assure you. All our flights went well, apart from an hour's delay on a local airline, which is a miracle really!

One of the many flights we took

I hate travelling, it's probably down to my balance problem because it totally knocks my equilibrium out. It can be because of any form of transport, from the many boats and plane journeys I made, or can be down to tiredness, dehydration and heat. Whatever the cause, I woke up every day of the holiday, fearing that this would be the day. But it never happened. However it's been knocked out now after all the travelling home and I've had to take a day off work because of the vertigo, more than a week after I got back. Hopefully the exercises I have to do will get it back soon as it's affecting my eye concentration, balance and sleep. It's a shame because I love seeing new places. The sooner they invent a Star Trek-like transporter, or people develop the ability to teleport, jump or apparate, the better. However, this was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. My eldest brother is working in Manila on secondment, initially for 15 months, but now until July 2017. He was really keen for us to visit, but we said no. However he worked on us, persuaded us and kind of wore us down. I can't speak for the rest of my family, but I'm glad he did. I haven't said it enough, thanks brother!

For me though, it almost didn't happen. Even the inoculations made me anxious: boosters for hepatitis, tetanus, typhoid and 3 rabies injections. The weekend before, I had a sickness bout of I don't know what, it could even have been caused by my anxiety which isn't unheard of. It knocked my confidence, unsettled my system, ruined my equilibrium and brought on my first anxiety attack in years. Fearful of destroying another holiday (I had severe vertigo when we visited Bruges a few years ago, unknowingly caused by all the travelling we did by car, and it brought on a nervous breakdown where I couldn't eat or sleep and was signed off work by the doctor when I got home), I sought medical advice, which I think was wise. I got diazepam and heavy duty motion sickness pills from the doctor, as a crutch; I never intended to use them. However the anxiety from the illness I had built until the morning we were leaving and I basically said I'm not going and was well on my way to a panic attack. I couldn't understand why I thought I could go so far and on such a big holiday, not with my history of anxiety. Why was I doing this to myself? I was severely doubting my sanity. So I took a pill and calmed down enough to take it one step at a time. I took another pill on the plane, another pill so I could sleep the first night in Manila as I was struggling and didn't take a single pill after that. I kept them with me always though, on me or nearby, just in case. I amazed myself.

This is what kept me sane on the planes

Anticipation is my downfall, once we were on the holiday, there in Asia, I did my usual thing; shameful of showing such weakness, bringing myself so low, I threw myself headlong into the next thing, usually it's cleaning, work or family life, but this time I had a whole new culture, new landscape and new experiences to take on. I'm proud of myself and my brother was too. He singled me out as one of his highlights of the holiday, my attitude mainly, as well as seeing a seahorse. As much as I could, I looked after my nephew, bonded with my just about to walk baby niece and tried to see as much as I could.

The Philippines is a beautiful place, we didn't see much of the main island or Manila, which is a crazy metropolis, particularly the traffic with its motos, jeepneys and tricycles. We island hopped, which was wonderful.

Bali is also fantastic, but more touristy. We didn't see the whole coast of Bali, but being inland and up in the rainforest certainly helped with the heat and for seeing the true island and islanders, away from the surfers, foreign-style resorts and crowds. I'll list what we did and where we went in a moment, I just want to give you some advice first for if you're ever in the area. Those of you who have been may find this familiar.

A  jeepney

1. Read the guidebook. I didn't beforehand through fear and anxiety, which miffed my brother, but also through laziness as my sister-in-law and brother had done a lot of the organising already; as soon as we knew we were going, I bought the guide books and started to read them, but it freaked me out. Trailfinders were invaluable in helping us plan the Bali part of our holiday. I thought by ignoring it, I could cope better, but with hindsight, I probably made the fear worse by burying my head in the sand. I would've got a whole lot more out of the holiday if I had read about the place. I rectified it once I'd settled and certainly did when it came to Bali.

2. It's a long way, so if you can afford it, go business class. They really look after you, it'll take much of the stress out of airports, you'll be able to sleep on the plane (hopefully; even with ear plugs, an eye mask and a flat bed, the vibration was too much for me), the entertainment is brilliant (we flew Emirates) and they'll take you to the airport and bring you home too. You'll feel like a true jetsetter.

Business class on the biggest passenger plane in the world, the A380

3. Allow for extra time at the airports as security is extremely tight in The Philippines and even more so in Indonesia; they check your flight information before you enter the airport, so make sure you have something printed out, they scan your bags as you go through, checking for weapons, and they scan your bags at every available opportunity as well, and in Indonesia, they also scan your bags after you arrive; Indonesia and Malaysia are very strict looking for drugs. You will see armed guards everywhere, so you'll feel very safe or nervous, depending how you are.

4. Leave at least a day after travelling to recover. Even if you can avoid the jetlag (by adopting the time zone as soon as possible), travelling is tiring. You may have a delayed reaction, it hitting you days after, which is fun.

At Dubai airport, trying and failing to sleep

5. Use suntan lotion. The sun is more powerful near the equator. If you go snorkelling, wear a rash vest. The vest may be uncomfortable out of water, but once you're in the sea, you'll be thankful for it. Don't rush to take it off afterwards too as it'll keep you cool. Also, for reef snorkelling, wear sea shoes; I saw lots of long-spined sea urchins, very painful without shoes.

6. Stay in the shade as much as possible, you won't be able to cope with the direct sunlight for very long. It's not a place for sunbathing, unless you can handle it or are a real sun worshipper.

7. Take water with you everywhere. I used a flask with a carabiner so I could just latch it on to my bag. The best hotels will give you complimentary bottles of water, which they replenish for free when they're empty. The restaurants should give you water too at the start of the meal, if they don't, ask for it; you'll need it even if it's not straightaway.

8. Use toilet paper sparingly, or flush twice as it's very easy to clog the toilets up. Very inconvenient!

9. Mosquito repellent is essential, citronella is a natural alternative and smells nice too. The resorts fumigate every day, but it's fighting a losing battle though as you're going to get bitten. Take a first aid kit with you with antihistamine cream and anti inflammatories in case you get a reaction.

10. Brush your teeth with bottled water, better to be safe than make your stomach sorry. This will be a hard habit to break when you get back.

11. Mind hawkers, they are cunning, not malicious, they just ask you your name, give you theirs, ask you your nationality and from that information they customise their targeting. Don't fall for their guilt trip as I almost did. Haggle, even in shops and not just markets and roadside/street sellers: halve what they ask for and work from there. Keep English coins with you as they seem to collect foreign currency.

Durian fruit

12. You'll eat well, I'm not talking about quantity of food, but the kind of food, but only if you eat the local dishes. Don't go for the Western options, not least, other than in the best places, they don't know how to make it so well. Not only is Southeast Asian food amazing, but you may also lose weight: I lost half a stone. It's based around rice, noodles and seafood. That said, the Filipinos love their desserts, the Balinese less so, but they love their coconuts. Things to try, the fruit, for a fruit-lover, I was in heaven: durian (a local delicacy like nothing else you've ever tasted, you'll see it everywhere, a spikey yellow/green pineapple type thing, nice as ice cream, see it above), snake fruit (has peel like snake skin, looks like garlic, tastes like lychee), dragon fruit (the famous looking purple/red fruit, see below) and if you can find it, ube in The Philippines. Also in The Philippines, try calamansi juice; it's very refreshing (the fruit looks like a lime/lemon hybrid). In Bali, try betutu, the meat can be chicken (ayam) or duck (bebek), but any way you choose, it's absolutely delicious.

Dragon fruit

13. It's a completely different culture and climate, so immerse yourself. When I came back, someone said I hope the holiday doesn't seem like a dream already. But actually home felt like the dream. It took days of being back in England for the world not to seem surreal. It wasn't until I cycled home on my first day back at work that it felt like reality again.

14. Keep your eyes peeled, you never know what you might see, from geckos to monkeys, from beetles to birds, from jeepneys to tricycles. If you're a photographer, take your camera wherever you go, just in case. I learned the hard way.

The takay gecko

15. Both cultures are heavily influenced by The US. So speak in American such as rest rooms for toilets etc. In big cities, you'll see Westernised restaurants, such as Hard Rock Cafe style.

The Philippines:

16. While the temperatures don't change all that much, the humidity does and you may want to avoid the wet season too. We went in March and the temperatures were around 32-35 degrees, more so in the city. It's cooler in the islands.

17. They may look unsafe, but a ride in a tricycle is a great experience. They're cheap and cheerful and you'll feel more a part of the world than if cosseted in an air-conditioned taxi. You can fit four people in one tricycle quite comfortably!

The tricycle

18. More so than Bali, the people are friendly, welcoming and happy to help. So ask if you want something, even if it's not on the menu or if you feel that you shouldn't be asking it, try, they're more than happy to help.

Bali:

19. Take a sarong with you everywhere, you never know when you're going to see a temple and you can't enter them, men and women, without a sarong covering your knees. The biggest and most touristy temples will loan you one as part of your ticket, but some temples, especially the free ones, may not provide them and plus you can choose your own rather than one you're given which may clash with your outfit!

Me at a local village temple

20. Regarding temples, check for local festivals. It may make them a great deal busier, but you will see a slice of daily life you may never get to see again. We lucked out as we visited a holy water temple on a big festival day.

21. If you must visit the monkey temples and/or forests, we didn't, be careful. The monkeys can be very cheeky if not aggressive. Don't have food with you and hold on to your glasses, sun or otherwise, cameras, phones, jewellery and other loose items.

My favourite of my Alila monkey photos

22. Bali = you're a millionaire! When I went, it was 18,000 rupiah to the pound. So remember any prices, add three 0s to the end and when you take any rupiah out of the ATM machines, you may not be taking as much money out as you think...

23. Be careful where you walk as there are religious offerings of food and flowers in little parcels everywhere, usually on the pavements outside homes and businesses. Even though they are easily stepped on, it's respectful to avoid them.

So here's where we went:

Taal Volcano: We took it easy travelling down from Manila and stopped off for lunch in Tagaytay, which is above Lake Taal. Josephine has lovely food and a great view, but avoid traditional lunch times as it is set up for coach parties. It's where I had my first drink out of a coconut. If you want to stay and/or eat somewhere snazzier, there's the Taal Vista Hotel. The road down to Talisay, where you get the boat to the volcano, is not for the faint-hearted; it's very twisty-turny and steep. Right from the start, you'll realise that everyone is out to get as much money as they can get from tourists, which is fair enough. So see my advice above: haggle prices. Bangkas are the traditional boats you'll see everywhere and what you need. One took us on the journey across Lake Taal. NB: the volcano you could climb is the bigger one, it's not the small volcano. The climb is arduous, but worth it to see the crater lake. You can take a horse ride up and you may get a guide thrown in. Avoid the heat of the day, unlike us; it's at about 2pm. Keep your mouth closed too as the path is very volcanic dusty. Take as many breaks as you can; there are shelters for the purpose sporadically on the path and carry water, and/or money to buy drinks, coconut or watermelon on the way. Don't worry if you feel like you're going to throw up, have a heart attack and die at the top, like I did. Be prepared for your face to look very red in any photos!

Me at the crater lake

Intramuros: When travelling around Manila, you never know what the traffic is going to be like, jeepneys, motos and tricycles, along with the usual cars snarl up the roads. Air conditioning was essential for us, especially as Manila is several degrees hotter than the islands, cities always are. Give in to it as road rage is useless and traffic jams are a fact of life here; hawkers are well prepared for them. On our way to Intramuros, we got caught up in a senatorial, or maybe even presidential motorcade which closed off the road for a little while. It was election time though. Our driver, actually my brother's personal driver, dropped us off at Manila Cathedral. It's been rebuilt many times, fires and earthquakes have levelled it, but most recently it was the war which destroyed it. Worth seeing just for its history, if not the building itself.

Manila Cathedral

We then got a calesa ride, which we just had to do, around the old town, stopping off at San Agustin Church. The only building that survived the war, it's a beautiful place, with a stunning ceiling. Spend some time here and take it in.

San Agustin Church

Bohol: Easy to get to, you can fly to the island straight from Manila via PAL or Cebu, we had no problems with either airline really, a minor delay once. Bohol airport is tiny though.

Tarsiers: Straight off the plane, we went on a tour around the sights of Bohol. We had to take a detour though as my Dad lost his wallet and had to cancel his cards, but we still had plenty of time to get round everything, after getting up unfeasibly early to catch our plane. Bohol is famous for its tarsiers. Make sure you go to the sanctuary I've linked to and not the place that abuses the animals; loud noises and human contact can stress a tarsier out so much it dies. They're akin to bush babies, very hard to spot and look like adorable gremlins. The sanctuary has spotters pointing out the tarsiers to you while also making sure you don't get too close.

A tarsier

Loboc River: For lunch, we went on a cruise! Everyone in The Philippines seems to be able to sing and/or dance, so beware of karaoke if you go on the boat. Iced tea is bottomless and on every menu at every restaurant throughout The Philippines and Bali, in many flavours. The food on the boat was good and it was very peaceful, people-watching the locals who live by the river, until people got up to sing and dance that is!

The Loboc River

Chocolate Hills: Called chocolate because of their colour, not their contents I'm afraid... No one really knows how these hills were created. Myths surrounding them involve solidified tears, warring giants and incontinent carabaos! The lookout point and visitor buildings were still being repaired after the recent(ish) earthquake when we were there, so you may not have fantastic sight lines, but just from the car park you get great views. For a unique experience of something you can't see anywhere else, the chocolate hills are a must-see if you're in Bohol.

The Chocolate Hills

Bohol Beach Club: We stayed in a 5-star resort; for the same price as an average hotel here, you can get the best accommodation in The Philippines. We called it BBC for short, a touch of home at the far side of the world. The resort is perfect for children and older people too, so a real family resort. The beach is stunning with hammocks and white coral sand. The restaurant and bar are superb with great food and lovely staff; the breakfast buffet offers a good choice of local and international options, but doesn't change that much apart from the fruit and cake. The grounds are lovely and the swimming pool is just what you need. The resort is set in Panglao, an island just off Bohol; you can get across via a bridge. But it makes a great base for visiting places and to come back to and relax. Use reception as they can book your trips, transfers and taxis. I know my Mum could have stayed at BBC quite happily all holiday, but then we wouldn't have seen a lot of the wonderful places we did.

The beach at BBC

Bohol Bee Farm: Nearby, you will find Bohol Bee Farm. The farm has a fabulous restaurant with amazing food; it's made from home-grown ingredients and is very fresh. The setting is beautiful, looking over the sea. There is a shop full of handmade products and even ice cream; try the durian flavour, I dare you.

The view from Bohol Bee Farm's restaurant

Balicasag: The island itself is not much, with just about satisfactory food and unsatisfactory amenities. But the reef and marine reserve just off the shore are worth the discomfort. It's all about the snorkelling. They will say you need a boat to get to the reserve, it's probably swimmable, but the boatmen make for great spotters; we may not have seen our first turtle without ours. It was a magical experience as we saw it through the sun rays cutting through the gloom. All the boatmen are great with kids and helping you in and out of the bangkas.

Balicasag

Virgin Island: On our way back from Balicasag, we stopped off at Virgin Island, or so they called it. Ever since I saw David Attenborough standing on a sand bank in the middle of the ocean, I've wanted to do the same. I'm sure some film character had a romantic dinner on one too. The island was an enchanted place, surrounded by sand-sifting sea stars and peppered with a few mangrove trees. There were still hawkers around, though easily avoidable thank goodness.

Virgin Island

Siquijor: We got a boat from Bohol to the island, or you can fly to and from Dumaguete to Manila and get a boat from there.

Coco Grove: No superlative could sum this place up. A 5-star resort again, but where BBC is easy, Coco is more rustic and all the better for it. The spectacular sunsets are worth it alone, but there are 3 pools, our favourite was our nearest as it has a pool bar. There are 2 restaurants, Salamandas for more formal dining and Sunset right on the beach, which I preferred. The breakfast is limiting as it's a la carte, but still good. My brother would order you to try the chocolate cheesecake. There's also a shop, but if you go to try anything on, check the changing room first as I didn't, but luckily the shop lady did and found a not insignificant-sized crab in there which she got rid of with a broom! I did say to take a camera everywhere you go as you never know where and when you'll come across the wildlife. I learned the hard way and missed taking a photo of it before the staff took it away to no doubt eat. Again, use the reception staff as they offer tours and activities. There's a range of accommodation, we treated ourselves to the best: the villas which were on 2 floors with a mezzanine ensuite bedroom and a jacuzzi in the bathroom! Coco has a hotel too. I can highly recommend the cultural night which included a huge buffet barbecue and excellent professional traditional dancers. The resort has off shoots, at Apo Island for instance and transport, such as a jeepney which picked us up from the harbour, air-conditioned cars, boats and even its own luxury yacht! I haven't even mentioned the beach, which is white coral sand, great for rock pooling and looking for tiny crabs at night with a torch. But the best part about the beach is the reef just off shore; go at high tide though as it can get very shallow and full of urchins to stand on. We saw a sea horse in the reedy part and a variety of corals and fish on the actual reef.

A Coco Grove sunset from a hammock

Apo Island: There were moments that challenged me and my anxiety. While I didn't get any flare-ups, it wasn't for the lack of opportunity. The reason why I avoided anxiety was because I could recognise possible danger situations and got myself out of them. The boat trip to and from Apo Island was one of those situations. So instead of being with my family and helping with the kids, I took myself off outside to the front of the boat so I could see the horizon, a key thing when avoiding sea sickness. I felt very selfish, but it was necessary so I could combat the motion sickness and therefore the vertigo and anxiety. It turned out to be one of my favourite moments of the whole holiday, alone and at one with the sea, seeing flying fish disturbed by the boat gliding across the water, and having heart-to-hearts with my eldest brother who came to check up on me every now and again.

The reason to go to Apo is for the turtle sanctuary and the huge reef. You can literally swim with turtles, guides go with you to help you spot them. We had lunch at Coco's much much more rustic sister resort on Apo, on a beach which also had great reef snorkelling and a fantastic drop-off. The reef they took us to afterwards though was amazing, a lot deeper than any other snorkelling granted, but we saw turtles again, woke one up in fact, more in the wild than in the sanctuary, a stunning array of corals and numerous fish which I had never seen before, even with all the nature programmes I watch.

Apo Island

Shell museum: This tiny but lovingly created shell museum is packed full of rare and not so rare shells; some we recognised from the beach. It won't take long to go around and is basically in someone's home! There is a shop with souvenirs and shells to buy too. It's not suitable for unattended small children as there's lots to pick up.

Cambugahay Falls: There are many steep steps leading down to this series of waterfalls, but it merits the effort. Locals use it for rope swinging and bathing, but despite the crowds, it's extremely beautiful. It can be a pick pocketing hotspot though, so hold on to your belongings. Walking around to see all the cascades was a little tricky for me and my balance issues, but with my brother's hand I managed it okay. There are quieter sections so you should explore all the falls.

Cambugahay Falls

St. Isidore Church: I love buildings that have seen better days, that are neglected and forgotten. However this church may look dilapidated, but it is well used. The details are very pretty and the wooden floor is original. The Philippines is heavily influenced by its Spanish heritage and the islands and their people are conspicuously Roman Catholic. There's also a convent school across the road from the church.

St Isidore Church

Balete tree: Apart from the natural foot spa, complete with fish to clean your feet, there's no reason to see this tree as there are balete, or banyan, trees everywhere. The one below is in our resort on Bali that was made into a temple! These trees are a sight to behold though with their aboveground roots, great height and numerous trunks.

The banyan (balete) tree in Segara Resort

Bali: Needs no introduction. We left my eldest brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece behind and set off on our own.

Alila: Best place we stayed in bar none, maybe ever, which is saying something this holiday. The whole resort is set in the tropical rainforest at the top of a ravine. You have to go through rice terraces to even get to it. Monkeys (long-tailed macaques) are daily visitors, plus the wildlife is exceptional. There are sounds of cicadas and frogs at night. I saw insects that were subjects of nature documentaries and one I didn't even understand. It was difficult for my Mum though as there are many many steps and it's not so safe for children as there are vertiginous unprotected drops being so high up. Plus the food, apart from in the bar, isn't child friendly. They are very environmentally conscious, everything is recyclable, and don't give you anything you don't need, so you have to request things like a TV. The staff are second to none, the food is healthy but interesting and the best breakfast we've ever had changes every day and you can eat all you want off the menu. The accommodation is fantastic; the rooms we had featured an outside bathroom with waterfall shower and a huge bathtub. Don't worry, the toilet and sink are indoors. As it's a spa resort, it's quiet, relaxing and the food is good for you. I haven't even covered the breathtaking infinity pool which literally overlooks the ravine and if you're lucky as we were, you can watch the macaques playing in the tree next to it. You can see plantain squirrels while you have your breakfast. It's a animal lover's paradise. The resort has a free shuttle bus which takes you into Ubud, the nearby town. It also has a suite of luxury air-conditioned cars, complete with chauffeur/extremely knowledgeable guide to take you to where you want to go. And it's all not as expensive as you might think. I will never ever forget the place; it's special.

Alila's infinity pool

Rice terraces: We spent a whole day going to all the places below, then another day we took the shuttle into Ubud before we went on to Sanur. The rice terraces at Tegalalang we went to were incredibly touristy, but do more investigating than we did and I'm sure you can find some quieter terraces as they are everywhere. They're to be seen to be believed. Photos don't do them justice.

Tegalalang, one of many rice terraces

Holy water temple, Pura Tirta Empul: There are temples quite literally in every village. Homesteads have their own temples to honour their ancestors and each community has three temples, dedicated to Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. The religion is unique as, while it's based on Hinduism, it also incorporates elements of Buddhism. One of the largest temples was built around a volcanic spring, which is classed as sacred holy water. We didn't know at the time, but when we visited, it was during a festival and everyone was coming to bathe in the water. There are a series of fountains which people stand under, each helps with a different problem such as nightmares. We had a very informative guide, and that's an understatement, with us who could tell us all we wanted to know and more. It was quite an experience.

Me at the holy water temple, photo taken by my brother

Coffee plantation: We went as part of an all-day trip and didn't think much of this on the itinerary before we went. However the coffee plantation was free to visit and not only do they grow coffee there, but lots of other things besides such as fruit and aloe vera. They make Luwak coffee, which is made from coffee beans fermented in the stomach of a civet cat. It's very expensive and sought after despite its disgusting-sounding provenance. You can try their teas and coffees for free, but if you want to try that coffee, you have to pay understandably. While the place is free, they do get you to go round the shop and you feel obliged to buy something. That's no hardship as they have wonderful things. There are many coffee plantations to choose from, so check with your resort/hotel which is best to visit.

Me making coffee, photo taken by my brother

Hot springs, Mount Batur: The main reason for the day trip was to visit the volcano. It's absolutely dramatic as you can see below. If you fancy a long trip, through the lava fields at the bottom next to the lake's shore there is a hot springs resort. You can also visit tribes, the original Balinese people, whose villages are only accessible by boat and still live in the traditional manner. You can climb the volcano; apparently if you set off incredibly early, the sunrise is beautiful. So I've visited a volcano in The Philippines and one in Bali too!

Batur lake and volcano

Pura Gunung Kawi: Our final stop of the day was an an ancient temple. There are more than 300 steps down to it, but they are gradual, as it's at the bottom of a valley and you walk through rice terraces to reach it. Bisected by a river flowing through the middle, the water coming from the volcano's hot springs, the temple was carved out of the thick rock. No one knows how as they didn't have the tools to carve such hard rock; Petra and the pyramids were made from softer rock. The temple has atmosphere, a quiet serenity sure, but because a king is buried there, it is more profound. To get to that burial area, you have to take your shoes off, which my brother refused to do for some reason. Beware as you walk up to the entrance before the steps, you will be bombarded by sarong sellers. Even if you have your own, they will try and convince you that you need another!

Me at the ancient temple, photo taken by my brother

Ubud town: The area of Ubud is the cultural heart of the island, the town has a market, temples, museum, shops and a lot more besides.

Museum Puri Lukisan: We probably only visited this museum because it is where the resort shuttle bus dropped us off and picked us up from, but I can highly recommend it. For the reasonable price of a ticket, you can choose either afternoon tea or lunch, including a drink. The Balinese really like their afternoon tea, for tourists anyway; it was free at both resorts. While the coffee is good, take your own tea bags with you as they cannot do good English tea. The museum is enthused with Balinese art, from the old and traditional to the modern and traditional. It is set in pretty grounds and when we were there, a musician was playing. Look out for the huge banyan tree, with a lovely statue of a woman entwined in its roots.

My favourite Balinese painting at the museum, the birth of Hanuman

Craft villages: On the way from Ubud to Sanur, we stopped off at some craft villages. Just like the old days here with Fleet Street for publishing and Savile Row for suits, each village is dedicated to a certain craft. There are villages for woodwork, stonework, batik and silversmiths. We visited a woodworking place, where I fell in love with and bought a dragon like the one from Spirited Away and a painted gecko, and a high-class jewellers where I imagine billionaires buy gifts for their mistresses. For hand-crafted souvenirs, these villages are well worth a visit.

A wood carver

Sanur: Quieter than Seminyak, but if you've ever visited the Spanish Costa Del Sol, it will seem very familiar. It's more of a tourist trap. Our resort would have impressed, if we hadn't come from such an amazing place in Ubud. But as it is, the Segara Village Hotel resort has excellent grounds, a jacuzzi bar, an infinity pool and a family pool, several great eating places, a nice buffet breakfast and access to the beach, but the sea was polluted with rubbish so we didn't go in which was a shame. The staff were nowhere near as attentive and helpful; we had to organise our own tours and transfers, which we were spoiled by at Alila. However it was perfectly fine. If we had gone to Alila first, we would never have wanted to leave Bali, least Segara allowed us to leave with no regrets!

Me with macaws

Bali bird and reptile park: As you can see, I made a few new friends. Even though it's called Bali bird and reptile park, the animals come from all around; the bird park has areas for places nearby such as Sumatra, Java and Papua New Guinea, complete with birds of paradise. The main draw may be the Bali Starling, which you'll hear about a lot; it looks nothing like a starling, but a white bird with a striking metallic blue eye stripe. Apparently it's the most endangered bird on earth. However the park also has a komodo dragon. The walk-through aviaries get you close to the birds, but it can get a touch humid which you may find oppressive. There are lots of activities that we didn't partake of like bird shows and the 4D cinema, but they'd be great for kids. Then there's the smaller reptile park next door, but entry to both parks are included in the price of the ticket. It may seem expensive, but for such large parks with such animals, it more than warrants the money.

Me with an iguana

Tirta Gangga: We went on a trip to the east of the island just to see this palace. Thankfully my family were more than happy to go along with my plan. Tirta Gangga is a must-see. My photos don't do it justice. It's all about the gardens, though they call it a palace and it has a temple. It has to be seen to be believed. Full of ponds, fountains, picturesque bridges, lizards, dragonflies and the biggest koi carp I have ever seen, it demands attention. Cross the stepping stone lake, climb up the top for the views, or simply sit and take it in. Mind the animal man near the entrance, if he's still there, asking you to pay for the experience of holding an owl, python, fruit bat or other animals kept in boxes. It makes your heart cry out in sympathy. You can get a nice lunch in the big restaurant by the road. There's a hotel within Tirta Gangga's grounds which you may want to check out.

Tirta Gangga

Taman Ujung water palace: This is an actual palace not far from Tirta Gangga. Both palaces were destroyed by the volcano and restored. It shows with Taman Ujung. However it is worth visiting. It was the first and only time where I gave up, I put my hands up and said, "You know what sun? You win." So we didn't see much of it because it was too darn hot. It's visually impressive, but there's not much there. You can go inside the palace, but some rooms are closed and the rest empty. It's not very well decorated and everything is quite minimalist and spartan. If the heat doesn't get to you, there are many steps that lead up to what looks like a temple. It's a majestic place, but it doesn't look well looked after; the toilets are atrocious to non-existent. Who knows, in a few years it may become a major tourist attraction; it deserves to be... with some work.

Taman Ujung

Pura Goa Lawah bat cave temple: Unlike any other Balinese temple. It's darker, decorated in black and gold which looks amazing. There is a myth that a snake that lives below the surface causes the earthquakes when it's angry lives in the cave system here. We saw this temple as almost of an afterthought on the way back, quite groggy with sun and I'm so glad we did. You can not only see the bats, but also hear and smell them too. The bats are the selling point, but the rest of the temple is quite special to look at too. Mind the hawkers outside as they are very persistent and emotionally manipulative. Oh, the bats are fruit bats.

Me at the bat cave temple, photo taken by my brother

Apart from more time, of the places we didn't get to visit or things we didn't do, only three rankle. I would've loved to see the Balinese dancing, which encompasses a variety of traditional dances deeply engrossed in the mythology and features costumes and masks and is unbelievably detailed, but we kept missing out on it, the only fruit I didn't try was the pomelo a sweet grapefruit because I couldn't find one to try it, and we passed on seeing the batik craft village because it was just too much in one day. We also didn't swim with whale sharks in The Philippines as for me it would've freaked me out because it's the biggest shark in the world, ride elephants in Bali as it's hideously expensive for what it is, they get them to do tricks and it wouldn't feel right, or go to any of the monkey forests as we had wilder monkeys going through our resort every day. Nor did we go to the temple at Uluwatu in Bali as it's just become too touristy, but it's a real event at sunset. Be aware of monkeys, particularly at Uluwatu. You can see why in the video below, from Chris Packham's BBC programme World's Sneakiest Animals:

So that was my holiday! Thanks for reading, you who have made it all the way to the end!